“ Dear Clive Martin,
We just read your article entitled ‘How sad young douchebags took over modern Britain’. Wow.
We get it – yep, don’t think you are the first to raise objections to people working out. Back in the day people thought what Arnie was doing was ‘freakish’, but we highly suspect that the former Governor of California is the one laughing now.
However, what’s come as news to us is your slanderous opinion of creatine. All over the UK there are men and women (you forgot about the women, Clive) who use creatine but do not spend their evenings taking ‘Monster cocktails and creatine’. In fact, creatine works best when taken about half an hour before and after a workout, and is usually mixed with water not Monster cocktails. Although when creatine is as cheap as £1.99 per 100g it’s hard not to take it with every drink you consume. If the men in question have made some progress, it’s probably best to assume that their cocktail evening has been thought through and that they’ve taken their creatine at the most optimum time of the day.
You also make the statement that ‘guys, who weren’t much bigger than me in our school days, had all become enormous, seemingly overnight’. But, just so you know, no one becomes huge overnight. Instead, what happens is a series of choices about lifestyle and nutrition coupled with dedication, hard work and a healthy dose of mental strength. It might be that you happened to notice the effect of several peoples months of hard work and dedication at the same time. And don’t forget that supplements aren’t miracle workers. No one takes whey protein one day and wakes up the next looking ripped – they enable you to achieve your maximum but only when coupled with some effort on your part. These guys that you’re slating have most likely worked pretty hard to look the way they do. Even if you dislike their aesthetics, don’t they at least deserve an ‘A’ for effort?
It’s probably our fault that ‘guys you’d never thought of as sporty or tough before’ now are equipped with an envious physique. We’ve been selling premium whey protein at the cheapest prices in Europe for some time now, so it was only a matter of time before even the most unlikely of customers succumbed to our products.
And because of our company policy to make only the best sports supplements with the highest quality ingredients, when you said that ‘creatine, or any of the various protein powders that I imagine will end up being considered as my generation’s thalidomide or asbestos at some point in the future’ you hurt our feelings. We could go as far to say this is slander, but we’re nice guys, so instead we’ll just tell you why this is a wildly untrue statement.
– Whey protein is the same protein found in whey, produced when milk separates from curds when making cheese. It is not a chemically produced drug.
– Whey protein is also used to help control asthma, high cholesterol and obesity, and assists in weight loss, allergy prevention and the management of late-stage cancers. Some people claim it helps to prevent colon cancer. We don’t remember asbestos getting quite the same write-up.
– Protein is a healthy part of a regular diet, so we’re assuming that you mean the other ingredients that go into protein powders are the ones going to cause issues later in life? We can’t speak for all the protein producers out there, but at BULK POWDERS™ we test all of our ingredients at an independent laboratory. We feel it’s important that our customers know exactly what they are taking, so our transparency across our entire range is clear to see – we list dosages and provide a full list of ingredients on the packaging of all of our products.
What we do agree with though, is your opinion of the guys ‘who look good on the beach but can’t fight for shit’. And that’s because here at BULK POWDERS™, we’re lovers not fighters. (And we do look very good at the beach.)
BULK POWDERS™ ”
Do you agree with Clive’s view on modern Britain, or are you the very audience that he is attacking? Whether you have a scab on your face or a face full of fake tan, let us know what you really think on our Facebook page or via Twitter on @bulkpowders.